Jihadi Du Jour: Behind the veil

I have spent some time telling you of my experiences about living in Egypt and Saudi Arabia. I have shared some of the experiences while being a Muslim - in name only - caused me to endure and my road back to Christianity. But what I do not like to think about, often too hard for me to think about, is what goes on behind the veil.

We all know about dhimmitude as it is portrayed on the MSM or on our cable news networks. We have read online the horrific stories told by journalists who have witnessed some atrocities or just have their own opinions. But I have lived behind the veil and what I can tell you is that it is a dark and lonely place to be.

Once a woman becomes a Muslim, or if she is one by birth, there is a whole different standard of life that is not familiar with thinking for ones self or expressing ones views and wants or needs. But you know that already or you think you do. I am telling you - you do not.

According to the Koran if a woman disobeys her husband it states that he may "tap" her lightly. This implies that a woman needs to be disciplined like a child who does not obey - to make her behave according to how the men want and deem fit. The Koran here is an enabler of spousal abuse. But that does not mean all Muslim men follow this and or beat their wives, they do not. I just happened to be one of the unfortunate women that was married to what I call an extreme Muslim-a radical person-simply a sick individual.

I was too opinionated for my ex-husband and the ilks of Muslims in Egypt. My parents used to warn me that I was a free spirit and that I needed to curb that because it would cause me trouble. I never curbed being a free spirit to this day and it is that free spirit in me that saved me from a life of misery.

For me the abuse began when I was pregnant with my first child. I wanted to go to buy something at Walgreen’s and my then husband did not approve. As I turned he kicked me in the back. I should have kicked him out then, but for all my being opinionated and a free spirit I fell into the typical thinking most abused women think–oh he did not mean it and it will never happen again.

While pregnant with my second child, I told you while in Saudi Arabia I was almost raped. But what I did not tell you is that one week before I gave birth to my son that my then husband was angry at me because he said I have a big mouth and need to watch what I say-so he beat me while I was nine months pregnant and he beat me every time he was angry at me. It happened again while I was pregnant with my third son too–but I was trapped in Saudi Arabia.

By the time I came back stateside and wanted to tell my mother what happened to me and what I was still going through - she told me point blank, she did not want to hear it. She said I made my bed now sleep in it. So I had no one I thought I could turn to for help and who would help me if my own mother was indifferent to me? Of course, over the course of years my mother began to understand and supports me whole heartedly now.

However, that is when I hit rock bottom. I began having horrible panic attacks - and that took me years to recover from. I was diagnosed with agoraphobia, which is defined as, the abnormal fear of being helpless in an embarrassing or unescapable situation that is characterized especially by the avoidance of open or public places. So I ended up on Zanax and Pamelor. The panic attacks diminished but my life was in turmoil. To this day I am prescribed by my doctors to take Zanax on an as needed basis due to the fact I am still anxious at times.

I had my ears literally yanked from my head. I have pierced ears and now I have two rips in my ears instead. And God knows I would love to see a plastic surgeon to have them repaired–and that is one kind of plastic surgery I support, but my insurance will not cover it and I do not have the eight thousand dollars it would cost. So I wear my hair down to cover my ears so no one will see. The beatings to my head and ears have caused me to lose about 40% of my hearing in my right ear.

If that is not enough - I had my nose broken during my fifth pregnancy. I had a cap on my tooth punched off - that I did have repaired. I had my left kidney bruised and still managed to go to my part-time job that I had in the evenings to earn extra money for my children so they could eat and have some extra needed ammentities.

When I tried to divorce my ex-husband the first time while my boys were young my then husband got his Muslim goons he called friends to help him stop me from leaving. Oh what a day that was. I called the police to come to the house because he was out - but because I was afraid he would return, I requested they come to the house and wait while I loaded my car so he could not stop me. I lived in Cedar Lake, Indiana at the time. If I was as smart then as I am now, I should have asked the police to escort me out of town. They would have, but I did not think to ask them to do so. On my way out of town I was cut off the road by my ex-husband’s friends and my then husband. His friends were packing a gun and told me to get in the car, drive back home, while they followed me and that if I did not obey them they would shoot to kill. I believed them. I went home. I was brow beat for two hours. I was so beside myself I ran to the fireplace mantle and broke every nick-nak on top of it out of anger and sheer frustration.

I was called a whore, a slut, and all sorts or filthy names, not to mention being told I was not a good Muslim and so on.

This went on for years. I used to pray to God to either one, let me just die to take me out of my misery, or two, rescue me from my hell. I always believed God was a good and loving God and that when He created us He wanted us to live in happiness as much as possible.

In the end I escaped that marriage and you all know I lost my girls along the way. I do not write this for sympathy. I write this because if there is one - yes - even one young woman out there thinking of dating and or marrying a Muslim man — do not do it.

My sons, except one, are Muslim. My oldest does not beat his wife, but he was raised here and to some degree all my children, except the girls, are living more like Americans than Arab Muslims. But my girls are wearing the head scarf and being forced to become subservient to men. There is more here I could write about my daughters but I will not today - suffice to say that my oldest daughter suffers from schizophrenia - that I do believe was brought on by her fathers dictating and neglectful ways. He is a very selfish man - very self-centered - no patience, and quick to get angry - then violent. He does not hit the girls, but told them he did hit me because I was "BAD."

So think again before you take the plunge from light to darkness. It is a lonely place behind the veil and I am one of the blessed women that was able to escape. Don’t take the chance ever - you may not be as blessed as I was - in fact - you may die trying to escape. I almost did die and I am here today to let you all know that I am blessed - that there is a God. The God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Let no man fool you or deceive you for as the Bible says, "Let God be true and every man a liar."

No dhimmitude here my friends - and definitely out from behind the veil.

Authors note: Crossposted from The HILL Chronicles

Labels: Islam in America, Islamic mentality