Sunday, January 28, 2007

Old Marines Never Die

This was sent in by Texas Fred.

Stolen From: American and Proud

Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, Cokie Roberts, and a tough old U.S. Marine Sergeant were all captured by terrorists in Iraq. The leader of the terrorists told them that he would grant them each one last request before they were beheaded.


Dan Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan; so I'd like one last bowlful of hot spicy chili." The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the chili. Rather ate it all and said, "Now I can die content."


Peter Jennings said, "I am Canadian, so I'd like to hear the song "O Canada" one last time." The leader nodded to a terrorist who had studied the Western world and knew the music. He returned with some rag-tag Musicians and played the anthem. Jennings sighed and declared he could now die peacefully.


Cokie Roberts said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen. Maybe someday someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the end."


The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and Roberts dictated some comments. She then said, "Now I can die happy."


The leader turned and said, "And now, Mr. U.S. Marine, what is your final wish?"


"Kick me in the ass," said the Marine.


"What?" asked the leader? "Will you mock us in your last hour?"


"No, I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass," insisted the Marine. So the leader shoved him into the open, and kicked him in the ass.


The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9 mm pistol from inside his fatigues, and shot the leader dead. In the resulting confusion, he leaped to his knapsack, pulled out his M4 carbine and sprayed the Iraqis with gunfire.


In a flash, all the Iraqis were either dead or fleeing for their lives.


As the Marine was untying Rather, Jennings, and Roberts, they asked him, "Why didn't you just shoot them in the beginning? Why did you ask them to kick you in the ass first?"


"What??" replied the Marine, "And have you three a**holes report that I was the aggressor?"

Thanks Fred. There is a bit of truth to every joke. and this one nails it.

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Thursday, December 28, 2006

Landowner protests a Mosque with Pig Races


Donate to APEs and PIGs

This little piggie went to market, this little piggie went...

KATY, TEXAS - While Kamel Fotouh makes plans to build a mosque on 11 acres of pasture here, neighbor Craig A. Baker is making plans of his own - plans to hold pig races.


Baker figures he'll need a tent, souvenirs and a track for the pigs to race on, all in full view of the Muslims next door, for whom pigs are forbidden as food.


As a bonus, Baker will host the competition on Friday - a Muslim holy day.


This is not meant as a slur on Islam, Baker said. It's a dispute between two neighbors. "A lot of people are making this into a racist situation, a redneck guy from Texas saying 'We're going to put on pig races,' " he said. "But I'm standing up for property rights."

I guess we will see how the Constitution reads on this one.



Meanwhile the Association of Pig Enthusiasts and the Property Is God-given rights advocacy group (aka APEs and PIGs) have published a joint publication of Law Enforcement Official's Guide to Pig Racing.

Suggestions include:


It is offensive to call pigs swine. As we do not call police "pigs", so similar restraint is requested.


You must be very sensitive during feeding times. Do not disturb a pig while it is facing the trough eating slop. This occurs at least 5 times daily.


Pigs refuse to be eaten by Muslims. So don't even ask.





Time to get your "oink" on!

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Friday, December 01, 2006

A Terror Of A Film

Deaf, Dumb, and Stupid.

Just for kicks and wheelchairs-- a "fake" trailer made for the 50 Horrible Movie Pitches contest winners at the Phat Phree:

Click for Video.

It is the story of three handicapped men who discover that there are terrorists living in their assisted living group home. Our heroes do what any red-blooded patriot would: They set off on a cross-country trip in a stolen handicapped van to warn the President.

Starring two "hilarious" comic actors and one "fantastic" leading man.

Free-for-alled at:
Stop the ACLU
Blue Star Chronicles
Woman Honor Thyself
Dumb Ox News

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Thursday, November 23, 2006

Man tried to eat swan during Ramadan fast


You could call this a "hunger" strike!

London - A Muslim man slaughtered a wild swan and tried to eat it because he was hungry during the fasting festival of Ramadan, a court heard.


Shamshu Miah stabbed the bird and bit its neck at a boating lake in a popular tourist resort.


Police found the 52-year-old with blood on his clothes and feathers in his beard when they were called to the West Shore boating pool in the seaside town of Llandudno, North Wales.


One of the officers told Miah it was illegal to kill a swan because it was the property of the Queen, to which Miah replied: "I hate the Queen, I hate this country."

Oopsie! Shame on Shamshu. What a turkey!

Happy Thanksgiving, BTW!

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Sunday, October 29, 2006

It's Islam, Jihadi Brown!

Click Pic For Video


"Of all the Farley Ak-Mohammed Al-Farook Ah-Rasheeds, he's the Farley Ak-Mohammed Al-Farook Ah-Rasheediest!"

Big hat tip to Noisy Room and Jawa Report.

Charlie Brown is disillusioned with Christianity and converts to Islam. Apparently his conversion is complete!

Click picture for video.

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Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Pay Every Penny Save Israel




What Iran really thinks... of Pepsi.

Islam and Capitalism: are they compatible?

...Jihad Watch recently noted that "[Grover] Norquist, a former Executive Director of the College Republicans and current head of Americans for Tax Reform is, along with his devoutly Muslim new wife, Samah Al-Rayyes, the founder of the Islamic Institute, which advocates the compatibility of Islam with free enterprise and capitalism."



Islam is indeed compatible with "free enterprise" if by "free enterprise" one means the appropriation of economic power, and state money, by those who first inherit, or manage to acquire, political power. It has been noted before that in the Western world, those who first make money but then want something else -- fame, glory – ultimately enter politics. In the Muslim Middle East (and elsewhere as well) the only way to make money, real money, is to seize power, or be in the circle of those who have that power.


Mubarak's Friends-and-Family Plan distributes American Jizyah, taking a large cut for itself -- for the Godfather and company. In Jordan, long-suffering American taxpayers used to pay all sorts of bills for King Hussein, the "plucky little king' who drove around in his sports cars, flew around in his planes, and in the West, in the best hotels, had the most expensive call girls visit him, seriatim. American taxpayers pai, unknowingly, for all of it. In Qatar, there is the family that has taken to describing itself as the "royal" family -- as J. B. Kelly nas noted, these sheiklets of statelets were once called, by the British, simply sheikhs, or in some cases "The Ruler," as in "The Ruler of Bahrain," but now they keep giving themselves promotions so that they are almost all of them now "royalty." Very funny, but not so funny is the way that the Al-Thani family in Qatar, the Al-Sabah in Kuwait, the Maktoum (buying all that New York real estate, on enotes) of the United Arab Emirates, and all the others, including the late Sheikh Zayid and his descendants in Abu Dhabi, appropriate much of whatever statelet they pretend to be the head of through some presumed venerable dynasty.


Of course the most egregious and comical example is that of a country named after a single family by that family: Saudi Arabia, named after the Al-Saud. How much is raked off the top, bottom, and sides (and please, trim the eyebrows as well), by the princes and princelings and princelettes, and all their numerous courtiers and consorts (Khashoggis, Bin Ladens, the lot of "contractors" and "defense consultants" who serve the all-important role of being conduits for bribes to assorted Al-Saud family members, who don't want everything to be official).


Now that's the life...I can see it now Joerabia...nawww!



h/t: Glenn Beck.

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Saddam should be released and sent back to Iraq

That's right. We should release Saddam and let him go back to Iraq AFTER we give him a sex-change operation. As a matter of fact, we could release ALL the Islamic terrorists we have in custody. We'll be very gentle with them - no torture or discomfort. Just give them lots of painkillers, do the sex change operation - let them recuperate with the best nursing care, and then send them home. A few days as a Muslim woman should put out the fire of their Islamic fanaticism.

(I heard that on the radio the other day - but I don't remember what show it was.)

Crossposted at The Median Sib.

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Saturday, September 23, 2006

Irritable Bowel Jihad

Just for laughs:

Sometimes the titles of blog posts are enough to just grab ya! These recent ones do in all the wrong ways...

Osama: Death by diarrhea?
Reporting Bin Laden's rumored death by a waterborne disease.



I Always Knew Nation of Islam Farrakhan Was A Pain In The Ass.
Addressing Minister Louis Farrakhan's anal ulcer.


Got any favorites of your own? Post them in the comments section!

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